SOLD!
It's National Dog Day! (At least that's what the Internet is telling me)
I've never owned a dog. My parents will tell you that's not true. For the first 6 months or so of my life my family lived in the country and we had a Brittany Spaniel by the name of Burkhart. (Burkey for short) I have no recognition of this dog whatsoever. I've seen pictures and remember the story of how my family moved to a subdivision in the 'burbs that didn't allow dogs and Burkey bit the dog catcher that came to take him away. So, I guess the more accurate statement would be that I haven't had a dog in the past 28.5 years of my life.
I've only really had a relationship with two dogs, The first came into my life 6 years ago. He was a Christmas gift from one of my friends to another who were dating at the time. Tigger, a black Rottweiler/Lab mix, lived with me for a couple of days prior to his holiday debut. When we first picked him up he was tiny. He could lay in the palm of my hand with his front legs hanging off the tips of my fingers and rear legs dangling just halfway down my wrist. As a puppy I would let him gnaw on my hand (a decision I would seriously regret when he was older) Sadly, Tigger died just shy of 2 years ago. The result of some pretty aggressive bone cancer. With the exception of my fish, Gorton (who I believe must have been at least part-canine in a past life) Tigger was the closest I ever gotten to having a pet dog.
The other dog entered my life a little after Tigger but quickly made a pretty big impact. Such a big impact, in fact, that that dog is immortalized as this week's Munny. He was a Basset Hound named Pops and we used to hang out (mostly because his owner, another friend from college, and I lived across a sidewalk from each other and would hang out from time to time.) Later that year my friend moved North. She would visit from time to time (Mostly, I think because Pops missed me) During one of those visits my friends and I were dining at our favorite sports bar / karaoke hangout when we received a phone call from my then (functioning, yet semi-retarded) roommate. Pops was gone. Let's just say THAT put a damper on dinner.
"What do you mean Pops is gone?" we asked, "How could he be gone when he was locked in the apartment before we left?" After a series of grunts and incoherent bodily noises we deciphered that Pops was taken out to relieve himself and Plop, squee, fart; he was gone. (it made about that much sense then too) I waited up every night that week to see if pops would come back. He didn't.
My friend, who was commuting 376 miles round-trip every time she came down, and I plastered all of South Tampa with posters. We would get calls from ALL over the place. One day he would be spotted 10 miles South of us. The next 3 miles NorthWest. The day after that South again. Every time I got the call, I would rush to the location and scour the neighborhood looking for him and nothing. We actually spotted him one time... but he outran the minivan. The calls started dwindling and after weeks of no spottings I think we were all thinking the worst and about ready to give up.
Then, out of nowhere, the phone was ringing off the hook. It was crazy. "Yes. I think I spotted your dog. it's hanging out with a black dog walking the streets." "Your dog and a female black dog where running around my yard today." "This other dog and your dog just killed a cat. I'm calling Animal Control." Yikes! and then finally, "Hello? A dog that looks like the one in the picture has been hanging around my neighbor's dog. He currently has them both fenced in his back yard. You should come get it. Don't bother contacting him... you should just come get it. Now." I didn't know what this ladies problem with her neighbor was, but I wasn't about to argue. We arrived at the house 10 minutes later and sure enough, it was Pops. I made my retarded roommate jump the fence on the opposite side of the house and scare the dogs in my direction. I scooped up Pops, stowed him in the van, and drove on out of there. I called my friend and she was already on her way. After a month on the lam he was so skinny and his ribcage was well defined. I got him back to my place, gave him food and water, then he pretty much just slept for hours until my friend arrived. He made it!... and he's still alive today! Thank goodness for bitches in heat!
So yeah. I'll probably get a dog... someday. Just not anytime soon.
The next Munny will be posted on September 2. This Munny marks the 2/3 project completion mark. We only have 18 left to go. Sooo, if there is a Munny customization you would like to see, leave a comment below or shoot me an e-mail at gbowdler@gmail.com.
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